…for Business Insider.
Millennials are literally committing murder by not buying enough of a thing I like. Market penetration – yes, that’s a real thing, no, you don’t have to know what it means to be angry – of shirts and flags with swastika print went down by 0.000001%, which basically means this whole industry is already dead.
“Guess young people are just ever so slightly less racist”, said chief Goldman Sachs analyst I’m-Not-Even-Gonna-Make-Up-A-Joke-Name-Because-No-One-Will-Read-Past-The-Headline. There you have it: Millennials are committing business genocide, and I am now gonna watch All the President’s Men while cry-masturbating.